Thieving BLU Soldiers
Creator OluapPlayer
Creation September 23rd, 2010
Debut Some random Gmod video
on Badlands
Type Kleptomaniac
Alignment Neutral Evil
Attitude Rapacious, greedy
Fighting style All ranges
Abilities Soldier arsenal
Weapon spam
Sheer numbers
Status Stealing hats
Occupation Thieves
Superiors Commander Private
Allies BLU Gentlemanly Demo
Enemies Official Heavy
Spy and Spy
Nnnngh Snipers
Jane Doe

The Thieving BLU Soldiers are an evil organization composed of BLU TF2 Freaks who steal hats from people all around Oluapland.


The army is mostly composed by BLU Team Soldiers. They are known for always being in groups and always shouting non-sequiturs such as "SEE!", "YES!", "PAIN", "SEY!" (Yes backwards), "DICK!", etc. and also are known to make very distorted smiles and make very rude gestures to other people. They are the BLU team counterparts of the Nnnngh Snipers.

The lowest ranking troops look completely standard, while the sergeants, who are higher ranking Soldiers, wear Gentle Manne's Service Medals along with a certain Soldier hat. These usually lead the hatless ones around their missions at stealing hats.

Their main objective is to obtain hats by stealing them from their original owners. The high number of Soldiers in the army make them fairly effective at their job. If someone fights back or refuses to give their hat easily, the Soldier will fight back using any weapon from the regular Soldier equipment, mainly Rocket Launchers, Shotguns and melee weapons. They have a tendency to fire their apparently endless supply in a lightning fast succession, whilst giving the middle finger to their opponents, which proves effective against common mercenaries but generally only annoys TF2 Freaks of middling power level.

Thieving BLU Soldiers are enemies with all RED Demomen and will attack them on sight. They remain indifferent toward BLU Demomen, though, and are even willing to work with the likes of BLU Gentlemanly Demo.

Notable Members

Commander Private


Commander Private

Commander Private is the supreme leader of the Thieving BLU Soldier Army.

Equipped with a Soldier's Stash, a Lord Cockswain's Novelty Mutton Chops and Pipe, and a Fancy Dress Uniform, Private was the very first Thieving BLU Soldier, and leads his troops to steal hats all of Oluapland.

While common members of the army are essentially cannon fodder, Commander Private is skilled enough to prove a match to his nemesis, Official Heavy, in a one-on-one fight. His main weapon of choice is a Half-Zatoichi.

Commander Private is the only Thieving BLU Soldier capable of respawning. He has been killed at least three times in the past; once by a Groudon during his first sortie (to Badlands), another time by Official Heavy when the latter attacked and destroyed the Thieving BLU Soldier base at Gullywash, with Private being the last to fall, and again by the rogue Thieving Tin Soldier.


  • A Tank Buster Soldier armed with a Black Box who led a small troop in Fastlane. Held an extreme hatred towards hippies and happy people. He and his troop were killed by an Engineer and a Saharan Spy. Deceased.
  • A Chieftain's Challenge-wearing Soldier leading a large troop in Target. Used dirty tricks such as shielding himself with a civilian to defend himself and only himself. He was killed by an Engineer who summoned Dog from Half-Life 2. Deceased.
  • An Exquisite Rack-wearing Soldier, right-hand man of a Pyromancer's Mask-wearing Pyro in his mission to take down King Demoman's castle. First killed by Demopan, he was later revived as a zombie to fight Official Heavy, but was quickly defeated and killed again. Deceased.
  • A Tyrant's Helm-wearing Soldier who worked alone and thought he was a real viking. First seen randomly pressing buttons in Offblast, and later challenging and losing miserably to a Fists of Steel-wielding Heavy in Gravel Pit. He was then killed by an exploding BLU Spy. Deceased.
  • A Spine-Chilling Skull-wearing Soldier who commanded a large troop in Harvest. He was strong and durable, but was annoyed by Spy and Spy and then blown up by an Expert's Ordnance Demoman. Deceased.
  • A Max's Severed Head-wearing Soldier who commanded a small troop in 5Gorge. Got frustrated with his unit easily, though he seemed to have their complete loyalty. He was killed by two Ambassador-wielding Spies, who ambushed him whilst he was blinded by anger. Deceased.
  • A Wiki Cap-wearing Soldier who worked alone at Nucleus. Owned a "Direct Jumper Box Launcher", crafted from a Rocket Launcher, a Direct Hit, a Black Box and a Rocket Jumper. He was killed by a shotgun-wielding Pyro. Deceased.
  • A Noble Amassment of Hats wearing Soldier who also worked alone at Nucleus. Acted like a shopkeeper for other BLU Soldiers. He died when his head shrank for no reason. Deceased.
  • A Hero's Hachimaki-wearing, devoted Soldier who would do everything to protect his "box" (an Aperture Science's Weighted Storage Cube) from anyone, especially Demomen. He was killed by a shotgun-wielding PRL Civilian. Deceased.
  • A Defiant Spartan-wearing Soldier who works alone. Upgraded Oluapland to DirectX 9 by kicking a BLU Engineer's Dispenser off of Gravel Pit's final control point. He appears to be tougher than other Soldiers, having survived being knocked off the same building by the same Engineer. Alive.
  • A Stahlhelm-wearing Soldier who was sent on a mission to kidnap Jane Doe's wife, Gardevoir. He was killed by Official Heavy when he refused to surrender. Deceased.
  • A Battle Bob-wearing Soldier who commanded a small force at Lumberyard and tried to attack OluapPlayer's laboratory, but failed miserably and got killed by Gentlemanly Demo and Vortibill. Deceased.
  • A Sergeant's Drill Hat-wearing Soldier who commanded a small force in Freight. He and his force fought a group of Nnnngh Snipers over the map's center control point. He liked to lead from the front, though he paid for it when he was given a headshot.  Deceased.
  • The rogue Thieving Tin Soldier who leads a horde of robots and has plans to destroy Oluapland once and for all. Status unknown.
  • An Uncle Sam-wearing Soldier commanding a tiny squad against Major Scout Guy. He and his men were quickly disposed of. Deceased.
  • A Stout Shako-wearing Soldier who menaced a RED Sniper for his B.M.O.C. alongside FaG Scout. He was killed by the latter when trying to argue with him. Deceased.

Non-Soldier Members

Although rare, at least a few people who are affiliated with the army are not Soldiers, but they are still members of BLU Team. Here are some notable examples:

  • A BLU Medic commanding a small troop to steal hats at Harvest. He was obsessed with hats and became happy and cocky when he had a mountain of hats on his head. He was killed by Official Heavy when the latter was still known as Familiar Heavy.
  • A Pyromancer's Mask-wearing BLU Pyro (known simply as the Pyromancer) and commander of a small but strong troop which was on a mission to take over King Demoman's castle. A wizard, summoner and necromancer, he could shoot flames from his hands, raise the dead, and summon a gigantic, winged, fire-spitting Dragon. He was defeated along with his company by Demopan, but he survived the incident. He later confronted Official Heavy face-to-face during a raid on the BLU Soldier base at Gullywash, but was easily killed in the process.
  • A BLU Spy with a RED L'Inspecteur, Spectre's Spectacles, Something Special for Someone Special and a Tournament Medal, who assisted the soldier battalion fighting the Nnnngh Snipers on Freight. He was very skilled at his job, but he was arrogant and he usually made stupid mistakes, one of which eventually got both him and the soldiers killed.
  • BLU Pyrogun has served the Thieving BLU Soldier Army at least once in their history, where it served as a guard in the BLU base of Gullywash. He was first used by the Thieving Tin Soldier, who completed him and used him as a lieutenant in his robot army as part of his plans to destroy Oluapland. Due to it constantly changing masters, it is possible that the Soldiers will attempt to employ BLU Pyrogun again when they have the chance.
  • FaG Scout and Campoman were both hired by the Thieving BLU Soldier Army at one occasion, though the former betrayed them and the latter left after being defeated by Major Scout Guy.

Freak Fights

Participants Video Result
Thieving BLU Soldiers vs. Familiar Heavy Some random Gmod video on Harvest Loss
Single Thieving BLU Soldier vs. Official Heavy Official Heavy rescues an innocent female Loss
Thieving BLU Soldiers vs. Nnnngh Snipers Some random Gmod video on Freight Loss
Thieving BLU Soldiers vs. Official Heavy Tales of Official and Doe Loss
Thieving BLU Soldiers vs. Official Heavy Meet the Official Heavy Loss
Thieving BLU Soldiers vs. Major Scout Guy Thieving BLU Soldiers: Major problem Loss


  • The Thieving BLU Soldiers are great fans of Seeldier and usually try to imitate him.
  • Jane Doe himself was a Thieving BLU Soldier once, until he reformed and became a member of RED.
  • This video inspired the creation of the Thieving BLU Soldiers. Another inspiration was the fact OluapPlayer was sided with the Demomen during the WAR! Update and wanted to portray Soldiers as silly, incompetent enemies.

Notable Videos

By the creator of the Freak

By the community

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