Siege of the Freaks
Author Kugawattan


Genre Action
Original run 5 September 2015 - 19 July 2020
No. of episodes 6
Runtime 21:30 minutes
Antagonist Ninja Spy (Primary)
Ninja Heavy (Secondary)
Villains Dic Soupcan
Christian Brutal Sniper
Handsome Rogue
Others Various RED teams
Various BLUE teams
Siege of the Freaks is a YouTube video tennis match between users Kugawattan and TheInvertedShadow.


The Administrator is angry that mercenaries all around are either incompetent or deadlocked, making her supervision a total nightmare. However, she is met by Ninja Spy and Ninja Heavy, who propose the idea of spicing it up by having each match interrupted by a Freak.


One boring day at 2Fort, mercenaries are fighting each other, but neither team seems to be gaining the upper hand. Eventually, the Administrator in her office is starting to lose her temper as she is forced to watch match after match of boring, incompetent people not doing any effort to progress. Just then, she is interrupted by Ninja Spy and his lackey Ninja Heavy. Unimpressed at first, the black clad Spy surprises her by showing a selection of Freaks. She gets then the idea to plant them in the middle of a match, hoping this would motivate the mercenaries into completing their objectives.

As the mercenaries of either team stare down each other back in 2Fort, the Announcer surprises them all by summoning the intelligence in between them. Moments later, drunken gibberish and dancing catches everyone's attention: Dic Soupcan has joined the fray, and swiftly eliminates the RED team.

Dic falls asleep and BLU looks nervously at each other. The Soldier carefully tries to walk toward the drunkard hoping he won't wake up, but to no avail: the instant he lifts his foot, Dic charges toward them and murders all but the BLU Engineer and Pyro; they both take the opportunity to go after the intel, but Dic Soupcan catches up to the Pyro quickly and kills him. The suitcase flies to the hands of a respawned RED Scout. The Engineer is mad, and noticing Dic's anger point, he lies to him and tells him Scout called him ugly.

Dic Soupcan rushes toward the RED team, but they have prepared a Sniper-Sticky Bomb ambush. This proves useless as it only makes the drunkard activate his Nightmare Mode and quickly kills them all. The BLU Engineer hears the screams come from the RED base, and approaches it when the screams die down. He finds the suitcase and takes it; a nearby Dic Soupcan offers him a soupcan, and Engineer accepts. This causes a positive reaction on Dic, and he lets him go as he snores again.

Extremely pleased with the result, the Administrator demands more and hands some money to Ninja Spy. He sees this opportunity to make money quick and summons another Freak to the Badlands, where another two teams do nothing but weakly shoot at each other or relax under cover. The chess game BLU Medic and Heavy are playing is cut short by none other than Christian Brutal Sniper.

CBS nonchalant disposes of the Medic, throws the weapon away and as usual kills the RED Scout, and the Heavy is quickly beheaded. The flying blood angers the Spy but is distracted by the enemy Pyro long enough to get an axe to the face. The angry RED Pyro challenges Christian Brutal Sniper and manages to briefly combat and disarm CBS, but this is fruitless as the Sniper Freak takes a claymore from hammerspace and impales the Pyro. As he gloats, the lone RED Engineer unwittingly captures the point before he is dispatched. BLU is horrified to try and cap the point back, making RED win the match.

Again satisfied with the result, the Announcer keeps giving money to the Ninja Freaks. This time, a soldier Freak is dispatched to deal with two deadlocked teams in Swiftwater: Soldine.

Soldine proceeds to kill the BLU scout pushing the Payload before demanding that the RED team surrender. The RED Heavy opens fire with no effect, instead Soldine closes the distance, prompting the Heavy to punch the cyborg. After having his hand thoroughly broken in the process, the RED Heavy is sent flying and the RED Engineer proceeds to barrage Soldine with sentry fire. Soldine powers through the fire with little effort, killing the Engineer and sentry in the process. A RED Sniper attempts to head shot the cyborg multiple times from cover, but the unaffected Soldine detects him and rocket punches him away in response. The Announcer alerts the map that the bomb is almost at the final point, and Soldine launches himself away after dealing with the last RED Soldier. Interrupting the bomb cart at the final moment, the BLU Pyro attempts to airblast the Freak into the bomb pit, but the metal cyborg is only barely pushed back, before detonating the Pyro with a rocket at point blank range. The BLU Demoman begs Soldine for mercy, but this is merely a ruse for the BLU Spy to attempt to sap the cyborg, but the attempt fails and an angry Soldine then murders the remaining members of BLU.

While the Announcer expresses her continued delight at the success of the freaks, the BLU team argue in the spawn room. Suddenly, the BLU Scout is cut down by an unknown assailant who is revealed to be Handsome Rogue, then promptly kills most of the BLU team. The Announcer demands to know who has attacked BLU, but a shocked Ninja Spy diverts her attention to Doublecross, where yet another Capture the Flag match is interrupted by Sewer Medic.

His ear-searing Hypersonic Scream gets the attention of everyone in Doublecross. The Soldier and the Demoman team up to take the Medic Freak down, but he dodges the projectiles, colliding into each other and blowing some mercs up, while Soldier escapes with the intelligence, leaving Sewer Medic to murder the rest of the trespassers.

Soldier however has the misfortune to end up in his own team's sewer, where the RED Sewer Medic awaits him, much to the surprise of the Admin, who starts to get suspicious something is amiss. Soldier is saved by his team's Sniper, who falls prey to the RED Freak while Soldier makes it into his Intel Room, happy to have survived. Unfortunately, his laugh is cut short by a decloaking sound. It's Gentlespy. who swiftly headshots him, laughing at his expense.

While the Admin reprimands him that so many Freaks are ending the matches short and awkwardly, the Freak-Spawning switch is snatched by Fiammetta and Armeni, who start summoning characters on their own, much to the Ninjas' horror.

At HighTower, the RED and BLU teams are getting ready to carry their respective Payloads to their detonation points. The match however is quickly stopped short by four Freaks, two of each seemingly taking a side by color: Painis Cupcake and Buddhist Murder Pyro on RED, and Weaselcake and Ass Pancakes on BLU.

Painis promptly dashes toward the RED team, with the intent of eating them. Weaselcake attempts to protect the RED team from him, but inadvertently starts a fight with Buddhist Murder Pyro, and is partially turned into gold as a result. The RED team is then massacred, while Fiametta and Armeni taunt Ninja Spy while summoning more Freaks on HighTower to continue the mayhem. Several fights break out between Ass Pancakes and Scombine, Painis Cupcake and Dangerous Bacon, as well as Buddhist Murder Pyro, and a GRN Vagineer. FaG Scout also appears and opens fire against everyone, but is stopped by Weaselcake, who has broken free of the gold curse.

Weaselcake proceeds to kill FaG Scout before disabling Buddhist Murder Pyro and the GRN Vagineer by hurling the wounded Ass Pancakes at them. He then turns his attention to fighting Painis Cupcake who has defeated Dangerous Bacon, but he is interrupted by SoupCock Porkpie. Before the fight escalates, the three are interrupted by two pacifist Freaks, Intelligent Heavy and Polite Spy (as well as the Agreeable Soldier) and convince the Freaks to stop fighting.

This ceasefire is yet again quickly interrupted by Fiametta (much to Ninja Spy's dismay) by summoning Spiritual Demoman who proceeds to attack the group with large shipping containers. Through a concerted effort between Painis Cupcake and Weaselcake though, Spiritual Demoman is defeated.

Ninja Spy finally loses his temper and proceeds to attack Fiametta. In the ensuing brawl, Armeni gets a hold of the Freak spawner, rapidly pressing the button to induce chaos, however to everyone's horror, one of the spawned freaks (the kleptomaniac known as RubberFruit) steals the button. He attempts to flee with it, but is quickly caught up and unceremoniously killed by Fiametta, however she herself is quickly knocked aside by Uncle Crusty, who had spawned nearby, Enraged at the sight of his attacked friend, Armeni attempts to blast Crusty with a giant rocket launcher at point blank, however Crusty simply blocks the launcher's tube with the nearest object he can find, which happens to be the Freak spawner.

The freak spawner is destroyed in the ensuing explosion, much to Ninja Spy's horror, who realizes his plan has been foiled. At Ninja Heavy's behest, the pair attempt to escape, however Ninja Heavy is caught by the now enraged Fiametta and leaves Ninja Spy to flee alone as she massacres his assistant. As Ninja Spy makes the final stretch of his escape, he is tripped by an outstretched tail. The exhausted Spy can only watch as Rappy and Demo take off with the money, before Ninja Spy passes out from exhaustion.

In the Epilogue, it appears that Rappy and Demo used the money to own a Desert Bar of some kind, one for all of Mercs and Freaks to join together. After having thoroughly wrecked the island base, Fiametta departs with an unconscious Armeni on her shoulder. The Administrator quickly sells the ruined base to the gullible BLU Gentlemanly Demo. Soldine and Official Heavy incarcerate Ninja Spy for his actions. The fate of the BLU team at HighTower is also explained: they were unable to push the cart further, due to Icy Spy's body blocking the path.


  • The idea of Freaks being sent to fight mercenaries was inspired by a fanfiction called Project FREAK, which had a similar premise.
  • In part 1, Dic Soupcan features a custom skin made for the gamemode Freak Fortress 2. One of the tennis players didn't like this fact, because Dic is supposed to be a plain RED Demoman. In order to compromise, the Dic Soupcan featured in part 2 is of a slightly darker RED and has a beer splash on the torso.
  • The BLU Engineer and Dic Soupcan's exchange is nearly identical to the one he has with Madic in the QMSC video "Enemies of Old".
  • The BLU Heavy in part 3 is dressed as the Dude from the film The Big Lebowski, and even does one of his classic lines.
  • Ass Pancakes still remembers Weaselcake from the fight they had in "The Tournament- Part 6".
  • Painis Cupcake defeats Dangerous Bacon in Part 6. This is a reference to "Painis Cupcake's revenge", a series where the titular character defeats other Freaks who have bested him in the past. He didn't take revenge on Dangerous Bacon in the series, though, and finally fulfills it here.
  • This is the second time Weaselcake has felled FaG Scout, the first was in the latter's debut video.
  • Ninjineer, Spengineer, Drunk Monk and CyborScout make cameos at the bar in the Epilogue.


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