Painis Vagicake
Creator HalBuzzKill (Concept)
Creation 14 May 2011 (Concept)
Debut A Trio of Freaks - Part 5
Type Hybrid abomination
Alignment Chaotic Evil
Attitude Erratic
Fighting style Medium to long-range
Abilities Abilities of Painis Cupcake,
Vagineer and Weaselcake
Power imitation
Status Unknown
Enemies Painis Cupcake

Painis Vagicake is an unstable, malformed beta-style BLU Soldier abomination who is the result of unholy genetic experimentation. He was created using DNA samples from Painis Cupcake, a Vagineer and Weaselcake.

His regular theme is Lavos' Theme from Chrono Trigger, and his battle theme is Purgatory from Doom.

Personality and Behaviour

Painis Vagicake is completely unpredictable and bipolar. He may act serene and friendly one moment, then suddenly become bloodthirsty and genocidal the other. It is impossible to control or befriend him, since sooner or later his personality shifts drastically, inevitably preventing any lasting relationships.

While Vagicake may attack another Monster just as likely as let one go away undisturbed, he always violently responds to threats. However, if the enemy manages to evade him or somehow hold his own for some time, Vagicake may eventualy forget about the fight and disengage.

Powers and Abilities

The most terrifying aspect of Painis Vagicake's synthetic nature is the number of his supernatural abilities. He has access to most known powers of his constituent TF2 Freaks, and can use them with at least comparable effectiveness.

He moves by levitating and can teleport over short distances. Moreover, he is extremely strong and durable, and capable of a temporal self-übercharge. His instant regeneration allows him to quickly heal from severe wounds and to regrow lost limbs, which he can detach and fire at will. He can also utilise all of Weaselcake's colour-coded abilities.

Additionally, Vagicake possesses several abilities that stem directly from his genetically unstable nature and which are not inherited from any of his consituents. His self-übercharge continuously produces immense amounts of energy, which might eventually overwhelm him and escape in a violent outburst of a relatively small nuclear explosion. Furthermore, he can imitate most special abilities of the other TF2 Freaks exhibited in his immediate vicinity, though only for a very limited period of time and with little skill due to lack of experience.

Due to the magnitude of his power, Painis Vagicake counts amongst some of the most powerful TF2 Monsters.

Faults and Weaknesses

  • Vagicake's instability is almost as dangerous to him as it is to others. The excessive amount of energy he emits and the random way he utilises his multiple techniques are a significant threat to his own wellbeing.
  • Due to his borderline bipolar and erratic personality, Vagicake may suddenly become completely tranquil in the middle of a heated battle. This is a great opportunity to retreat, think of a plan or attack with everything one has got.
  • Painis Vagicake feels very uneasy in the presence of any of his constituent TF2 Freaks due to fragmented, mixed memories he has partially inherited from them. As such he is hindered from using his full potential against them, a crucial factor in a potential encounter.
  • For a being of his power, Painis Vagicake is astonishingly easy to stun. Be it with a Sandman or by some other method, Vagicake is far easier to violently stupefy than one would expect, and stays so for a comparatively long duration. Depending on the amount of force applied, he may even be sent flying.


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